new post @ 6:01 PM

I feel terrible. I am going back to my same old self. I have an attitude problem. Today is my friend's birthday. Sigh... Too bad. Some choices are already made and cannot be changed. Even if I have the power to do so, God may not allow. And if God allows, the other party may not allow. And even if the other party allows, circumstances will not allow. What can I do to regret with my moments. None. I cannot say I miss this terribly. But this is complicated. Not even I can comprehend the troubles of the mind and not the heart. For my heart is not complicated but my mind is. Can I say that I go in tears? No. I have a responsibility bestowed to me. I have to take it to my stride. And ignore small matters like these. But as I ignore, the small voice from the corner keeps whispering to me that I have failed in the test of a distant absence. What is now to regret? None. Stand up and move on. I tell myself. No, it keeps haunting me. I am neither here or there. When will this heal? Why does my life revolve over this? It is 2 years. It is time to move on and stop dreaming... Know this, that the other party don't understand your plight and how much you are suffering. And if she does, she may not reciprocate. So what have I done and benefited from this? Please, never ask me who and what I am typing. I never understand. There will be better days ahead, I am sure!

Happy Birthday!