Darling Chloe, we love you so much. It saddens me to think, whenever I punish you out of anger when you are disobedient. I know that everyone wasn't handed a manual as to how to act on their entrance into this world. And you as a child, you are exploring the world with your own curious actions and mischief. The day will come where you will explore the world on your own, find your own identity, find your friends, do the things that interest you and with all that you will spend lesser time with Grandma Annie, Uncle Daniel and Aunty Adele. You need us so much and at times you run up to us, hug us and tell us how much you love us out of your simple understanding of this world.
It's hard for me not to scold you when you are not behaving, it's hard for me not to give you that slap on your cheek when you are doing the wrong things, it's hard for me not to shout at you when you start irritating us with your tantrums, it's hard for me not to pull your ears when you are rude and disobedient to us. But no matter what darling, We love you...
Dear Chloe, The only form of punishment I know that is 'effective' is 'corporeal' punishment but I am unable to punish and reprimand your feelings, mind-set and spirit. Corporeal Punishment can only provide temporary measures to the problem. But I know corporal punishment provides you with a poor role model of adult behavior. It teaches you that the use of physical violence against smaller and weaker persons is an appropriate means of dealing with problems. That explains your tantrums, resentment, rage, and a desire to strike back at us.
In the process of punishing you, I hope I do not end up injuring you as I get too zealous in the course of disciplining.
Chloe, you follow by example - whatever surrounding adults do, you will do. If I strike you, you will strike others. Every word, movement, and action has an effect. Your observations are consistent with the adage "violence begets violence."
There is a tremendous need for me to change my approach and for you to be taught, through word and example, peaceful means of resolving problems. And because corporal punishment gives me immediate results initially, it causes me to neglect non-violent solutions such as counseling, detention, withdrawal of privileges, and use of education through corrective role models. Those methods are effective and teach you to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence. I haven't successfully conveyed that to you yet.
Moreover, punishing you corporeally is an ineffective means of discipline, it does not teach you the appropriate behavior, but only suppresses the undesirable behavior in you when I am about to punish or hit you. I understand that physical punishment conveyed to you may produce obedience in the short term, but continued over time it tends to increase your aggressive and violent behavior that you have cultivated in your childhood recently and probably in time to come if this continues, your adulthood.
I did more than corporeal punishment to you. I let my emotions run wild and allow the feelings of frustration to be vented onto you. What may seem appropriate at that point then may be awfully wrong now as I recall.
God, Keep me in Sight Lord and deal with me justly!
Through your patience and love.
